TMI Thursday: Confessions

You know the drill...



This might be kinda lame, but hey, it's something right?


And off we go...


1. I have to squeeze my nipples REALLY hard when I cum.

2. I wake up horny damn near every day, so I keep my vibrator under my pillow.

3. When I was 19, I dated a 34-year-old. We'd actually had plans to get married until he found out I cheated on him. Hey, I was only 19, and I got tired of hearing "I'm not a machine!"

4. I was scared of boys and sex for a while, but I masturbated regularly from the time I was 12 on up until I finally did "give it up". I used to be so embarrassed about it, but now I realize it was normal.

5. My favorite method of aforementioned masturbation was under the tub faucet. Yeah, you ladies know EXACTLY what I mean!

6. As a matter of fact, I was so horny during all my pregnancies, I'd actually spend several minutes contorting myself *just so* in order to get my waterfall on...imagine a huge pregnant-with-twins woman trying to situate her clit under the faucet...no mean feat, lemme tell ya! Those faucets really need to come out further from the wall!

7. When I was about 6 or 7, I walked in on my grandfather in the bathroom.

8. When I was about 13 or 14, my great uncle walked in on me.

9. (I may be judged for this, but who cares?) I have totally lost count of how many men and women I've been with. And I'm only 28.

10. BUT, my...ahem...extensive experience has made me a MUCH better lover!

11. When I'm out and see couples together, I often wonder how good or bad their sex lives are, and I sometimes try to picture them having sex.

12. I often what it would be like to be a man for a day...I think I'd have a nice-sized piece and the proper "motion in the ocean" to satisfy, and I'd love to know how it felt to get a B.J. The only drawback: men can't have multiple orgasms.

13. If I COULD be a man for a day, I'd be a total manwhore.

14. For anal, I much prefer a man with a very small package.

15. I've masturbated at work on SEVERAL occasions. Sometimes the urge just strikes. I'm glad I work by myself.

16. Sometimes I think I'm being watched during aforementioned masturbation sessions, and that turns me on even more. Ya know what's more of a turn on? Thinking that my hot-as-fuck-I'd-do-him-in-a-hot-minute boss is watching on a live feed from his home and stroking off while he watches me. Heh heh.

17. Everyone at work knows I have a thing for him. I think he knows, too.

18. Y'all know the guy "Redbone" I've blogged about a few times? (See the puke on the dick story and the toilet paper in the cooch story.) Well, the first time he and I ever had sex (when I was 18 and he was 21), it was while his then-wife was giving birth to his firstborn son. I feel this is not as much a failure of my character as it is his, but I still feel A LITTLE guilty about it. But it was good. REALLY good.

19. I used to think sucking dick was the nastiest thing ever, but now I love to do it (for that SPECIAL SOMEONE; I don't go around throwing lips to every single dick I come across).

20. On a similar note, I also used to think that it was gross for a man to eat a woman's pussy, until I was 17 and this guy practically begged me to let him eat mine. (Oh, to be young again...) I quickly changed my mind when I had the most powerful orgasm I'd ever had in my life, and I've been like an addict ever since, chasing that same orgasm. I never had it again. FTW.